***Due to the ridiculousness of this post combined with the ridiculousness of Facebook, I’ve decided not publish the second of the two-series post. The title should be amended to ‘A short post concerning social networking hostility’. It’s just ridiculous.***
Today in my ‘suggestions’ panel I was informed that eight of my Facebook friends are ‘fans’ of spooning, and the question was indirectly proposed that, oh, wouldn’t I also like to be a ‘fan’ of spooning?
I love a good spoon as much as the next commitment fearing twenty-something, but I also love eating Peeps (not only around Easter), reading fanatically religious debate discussion boards, taking pictures at Meijer, organizing my closet and hording sparkly things my grandmother gives me. I don’t plan on becoming a Facebook ‘fan’ of these things. That would be embarrassing.
Not to say spooning is embarrassing. But if you’re a public ‘fan’ of spooning, what creepy ‘fan’-like obsessions are you hiding? Is the public adoration of a mainstream activity some sort of compensation for not telling anyone about your love for neo-Nazi memoriablia or Harry Potter adult fanficton?
I don’t want to know the greasy kid who incessantly tapped his ratty, untied Reeboks on the back of my chair in high school calc class is a ‘fan’ of spooning with his newfound, semi-cute, ‘I’m dating you because I know nothing about your past’, girlfriend. I bet she finds his public love of spooning adorable and gushes to her Theta sisters about it.
If only she knew.